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I'm so friggin' exhausted. I just worked at Bobby Byrne's for 6 and a half hours and was on my feet the entire time. I hate tourists I really do. Even though they bring so much money to the Cape, they suck! The other day I was driving around the rotary trying to head towards Falmouth and this old guy cuts me off and I almost crashed into the side of his car! First off, they need to learn how to drive around the Cape, especially if they are going to take over. Second of all, I can't think of a second of all but ahhh they're so snotty and they think that its our main goal to cater to them..FUCK THAT. Okay, enough ranting about tourists. Last night was a lot of fun I went to Ultra with some girls from work and then afterwards went to Liz and Claire's house for a little party. I've gotten about five hours of sleep and I don't know how I'm still truckin'. James is coming here soon. I haven't been spending as much time with him as I thought that I would but I don't mind it, if we were together 24/7 we would get on each other's nerves. Anyway, I'm about to fall asleep. I'll update later.
Current Mood:
exhausted exhausted
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I had to document this day. It was the very first "beach day" on Cape Cod! Liz called me early in the morning and told me to look out my window and I got an awesome surprise...it was sunny, finally! So we headed to the beach just the two of us cause Claire and Torey are lazy bones ;-) We called some people up and Meag, Kell, and Lena all joined us. It was such a beautiful day outside, I loved it! Cape Cod summers are the best, no other places can compete with them.
Current Location:
Dad's Office
Current Mood:
happy happy
Current Music:
None
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Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I got home last Thursday and then worked Friday at UltraSun and Saturday and Sunday at Bobby Byrne's. I'm actually really happy that I have two jobs because that means two paychecks which means lots of $$$. I probably will only have one day off during the week or maybe not even that but I don't care. I'm young I can do it. Let's see, Thursday night when I got home I went over to Torey's house with the girls and we had a bonfire and just chatted about everything. I drank a few too many sparks and was pretty drunk but hey whatever it was my first night of summer! Friday I worked for a few hours at the tanning salon because it was prom and Mary needed an extra hand. Friday night James and I met up with his friend and went to this bar called Kian and Reiley's. It was kind of a dumpy bar and James and I ended up getting into a HUGE arguement (mainly because I was exhausted and didn't want to be out anyway). But, as usual we resolved our problems and things couldn't be better :-) Saturday I worked at BB's, always a fun time there, I love it. Sunday I worked there as well and Sunday night I went to James' house and we watched the Sopranos together, it was cute. Yesterday was my friend Meag's birthday so Liz, Claire, and I went to MMA to give her twin brother a cake and then we all went back to my house and had wine while tanning on the deck. That night Meag, Liz, Claire, Sam, Tor and I all went to Tomato's to celebrate Meag's birthday. Now I'm just hanging out here after cleaning my room and doing the dishes like a good daughter :-) Probably hanging out with the girls or James soon. I don't work until Thursday so I'm a free bird til then :-) I'm so happy it's summer!!
Current Location:
My dad's office
Current Mood:
accomplished accomplished
Current Music:
Imogen Heap-Hallelujah (from the OC)
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Sunday night, James and I made plans for me to come home Tuesday night and spend time with him because I don't have any finals on Wednesday.So today I wake up from my nap and see that I have a text message from James. It says " I know you are sleeping but turns out I got the day off so I'm gonna go to the bank and take care of that and then Russ and I are going to Foxwoods for a little bit but I'll be back at 8 or 9. I really need the money and i think russ is gonna spend some of those points he has and get a huge t.v. so I'll let you know when im comin back and you can meet me at my house or I'll go to yours. I hope your finals went well and you're day is a good one. I love you so much and I can't wait to see you later on tonight." First of all, we made plans to meet at around 6:30 or 7ish because I have a meeting with my landlord at 4:30. Second of all, he needs the money so he's gonna gamble? Hello!! You could lose ALL of your money by gambling. Third, he has to wake up at six in the morning on Wednesday to work so if he gets home at 9 he's probably gonna want to be in bed by 12. So that leaves us three hours? I'm not gonna come home for that, thats bullshit. Especially when we had already made plans. I'm so unbelievably pissed. I just want to go home and sleep forever :(
Current Location:
Dorm Room
Current Mood:
sad sad
Current Music:
None
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I'm pretty bored so I decided to write. Hm, what to say? There hasn't been much going on lately. Only seven days left of class and ten days til my last final. I'm actually really happy to be moving out of here. Of course I'm going to miss everyone like crazy but in a way I'm happy to have my own room, real food, clean showers and so on and so forth. Next year will be so much better when I'm living with Joanne and Sierra because I'll have all of that except I'll be living with my friends! It doesn't get much better than that. I've been procrastinating SO much. I didn't do it all year and then of course when it's crunch time and it's the end of the year, I procrastinate. I have three projects due next week and a portfolio due for Advanced Comp. I'm almost done with one of my projects but I should have gotten started WAY earlier. I'm planning on doing a lot of work this weekend and getting everything done. I've actually done well this term (except in Accounting...blah!). I'm happy with my grades thus far and maybe I'll even make Dean's List this term. That would be awesome, my parents would love me. I was talking to people the other day and they said that if you keep a cumulitive GPA of like a 3.6 or higher that the school will pay 50 or 75% of your student loans. That would be incredible. Hopefully I keep my grades up so that I can take advantage of that opportunity.

I'm really happy that it's almost summer time. I hate the winter and begining of spring, it's so damn depressing. I'm just a summer girl at heart <3 I'm glad that everything is going well with my friends and there isn't anymore drama. That's all highschool bullshit anyway.

Things with James are off and on. Our relationship is bipolar on its on. One day we'll be fine and the next we are at each other's throats. We already decided that if this summer is ANYTHING like last summer that we're going to break up. Neither of us wants to go through that again it was awful. We fought every single day and I was always in tears. Not fun. I think we're both mature enough now to not let it get like again and it helps that school is ending cause when we are together everything is fine.

I need to find another job for the summer because working at Bobby Burnes isn't going to be enough money. I'm sure it will be easy to find another one. I'm going to go to a lot of restaurants in Falmouth and see if they need any help.

This was acutally a pretty long update. Yay! Well, it's almost dinner time..ttfn.
Current Location:
Dorm Room
Current Mood:
relaxed relaxed
Current Music:
Joanne and my typing
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I can't believe that I'm basically done with my first year of college! I feel so old even though I'm only the age of a Senior in highschool. I'm going to be a Sophomore in college living on my own  (well with my two lovely roommates, Joanne and Sierra) in an apartment. Times flies when you are having fun. Overall this was a pretty good first year of college. It had its ups and downs and I learned a lot about people and most importantly, I learned a lot about myself. I love the friends that I've made here they're all awesome people and they remind me of my friends from home. I'm also happy that I didn't stay friends with some people aka: Steph. She is not the kind of person I want to be friends with and I don't ever have to hang out with her again in my life unless I choose to which I doubt I will. When I first started to dislike her I thought that yeah maybe we would hang out sometime next year but  now...forget that! She is the most rudest, selfish person I've ever met and I'm happy that she and I are not as close as we used to be. In fact, we aren't even close at all anymore. It's so weird that we move out in two and a half weeks. All of our pictures have to be off the walls today and our room is so bare except for the pictures that Sierra and I have on our closets. I am so excited for this summer. I already have a job which is very helpful and I'm looking for another one so that I can make lots of $$. I can't wait to spend three whole months with my best friends and boyfriend. I can't wait to smell the ocean everyday. I can't wait to lay on the beach with the people I love and laugh and joke and feel the sand beneath my toes and jump into the ocean for the first time! I can't wait to taste the salt water either...as weird as this sounds I like the taste. I can't wait for summer clothes and parties on the beach with bonfires. I can't wait to see everyone I haven't seen in months. I can't wait to make this an incredible summer. Ahh I'm getting so excited! Alright well time to take a shower and maybe a nap? Ta ta for now!
Current Location:
Dorm Roomie
Current Mood:
excited excited
Current Music:
None at the moment
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I haven't updated in a while. Nothing all that special has been going on but today I got a job!! I'm working at Bobby Burnes in Mashpee as a hostess! I think that I'm going to get another job as a cocktail waitress at Trader Ed's because my friend Nicole is doing it and she said I should do it with her. I need to make lots of money I'm SO sick of not having a job. I'm actually excited to start working ha ha. I start at Bobby Burnes next Saturday. It should be fun and fairly easy and my boss, Pat seems really nice. Last night was fun/interesting. Joanne, Sierra, Hayley, James and I all went to a party over at Harborside but it was wicked packed with like 250 people so James and I decided to leave after like twenty minutes because it just wasn't fun anymore. We were gonna go to a bar but decided to save our money instead. I kind of wished that we had gone to the bar because James said he would pay for all of my drinks :-D Later that night James and I got into a fight over something stupid and he was yelling at me while Sierra was trying to sleep (sorry Sie). But, we're over it now, as always. Well I'm starving so I'm gonna go eat some din din.
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Today is James and my 25 months. He hasn't mentioned anything about except for when I do. For example last night at midnight I said Happy 25 months and he said it back. Then at the end of the conversation which was about an hour later I was thinking that he would say it to me. Nope, never did. I was just talking to him on AIM and he still hasn't mentioned ANYTHING. It's just like what the fuck is going on? I don't expect him to go out and buy me a diamond or anything for that matter but a simple Happy 25 Months and I love you would be nice. He acts so different when we're up at school. He basically ignores me and I'm always the one that has to contact him during the day. Yesterday he didn't say I love you once at the end of the conversations we had. It just makes me so upset and it makes me wonder why the hell I'm dealing with this? I'm sitting in the computer lab ready to ball my eyes out over this asshole? What is wrong with me? I mean if it doesn't stop or gets worse this week I might as well break up with him. I'm not gonna deal with someone who treats me this way. I didn't do anything to deserve this. UHH WHAT THE FUCK! I HATE GUYS!
Current Location:
Computer Lab
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
None
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So things between James and I have been different lately. I swear to God, everytime at the end of the school year we start to fight. This is the exact same thing that happened last spring. If this is a preview of what the summer is going to be like then I can't stay with him. I can't go through that again it was awful and it ruined my summer. I know that its not just me, I know I'm not crazy. We barely talk during the day and even when it gets into being night time I'm always the one to IM or text him. I just want to know his deal. Sometimes I feel like both of us are just in this relationship because it's comfortable and no one wants to be alone. I used to think that he was the one for me now I'm only 65% sure. Things can be so good but the minute I come back to school everything just goes down the drain. I hate fucking long distance relationships!!! They suck! I mean yeah I've been doing it for two years and its gotten easier but there are always so many fights and problems sometimes I wonder why I do it. But then on the other hand could I really see James everyday and not get into a fight? I'm so indecisive about my feelings for him. I love him to death, with all of my heart. But do I like him? Do I like being in this relationship anymore? I don't know :-( I feel like he doesn't know either like I'll be trying to have a conversation with him online and he seems so distracted and just like he doesn't want to be talking to me or something. I have such a hard time trusting him too which is the main problem in our relationship. I know that if I broke up with him I'd be heart broken and want him back but at the same time it's just like why don't I feel 100% happy with him? Will it change this summer or get worse? I just don't know anymore. I guess I'll figure it out with time. I'm off to take a nap now..ta ta.
Current Location:
My dorm room
Current Mood:
crappy crappy
Current Music:
None
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I thought today was going to be a good day but it's all just going down hill. I feel like I don't belong here. Like I don't have a set group of friends that I could turn to for anything and do stuff with like I do with my friends back home. I mean I know that Joanne and Sierra are my BFF's here but I just feel like I got lost in the shuffle. I know that part of it comes from having a boyfriend because thats how its always been. I don't want to spend less time with James or less time with the people here I want it to be equal but sometimes thats just really hard. If things are good with him, they aren't so good with my friends and vice versa. I think what I need to do is just spend a weekend with friends and then a weekend with him and so on and so forth. It's important to have girlfriends in your life and I always have and I plan to keep it that way. It's almost the end of the year and I'm just deciding and realzing this now. Oh well at least I'm starting to make a change. Only five more weeks of school left and then it's summer time thank God 8-) I can't wait to lay out on the beach and get a tan. Well, I gotta go now and do some homework. I'll update later in the week.
Current Location:
Computer Lab
Current Mood:
weird weird
Current Music:
Nothing
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